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3. Pregnancy Denial: Society’s Blind Spot on Invisible Motherhood

Pregnancy denial shakes our sense of certainty. Can a woman really go through nine months without feeling anything, showing anything, and without anyone around her noticing? In a society so fixated on motherhood, this kind of invisibility is hard to accept.

In the popular imagination, pregnancy is visible, joyful, and shared. A growing belly, ultrasound photos, the first baby clothes. It is something openly embraced, often proudly displayed. So how is it possible that a woman could carry a child to term without knowing it? And even more unsettling, that no one around her - not her family, friends, or coworkers - would see it either? Pregnancy denial is not just a medical mystery. It is a disruption of social norms.

What is unsettling to many is the disconnect between the silence of the body and the weight of cultural expectations. A pregnant woman is expected to feel, to know, to announce. Maternal instinct is held up as an innate truth, a biological certainty. But pregnancy denial shatters that belief. It shows that a woman can be pregnant without realizing it, without sensing it, and without anyone around her suspecting a thing. It reveals a form of motherhood that is invisible, quiet, and unspectacular, making it difficult for many to accept.

In truth, the women involved are neither immature nor pathological. They come from all walks of life, all ages, and many are already mothers. Yet when these cases make headlines, society often reacts with disbelief or even hostility. Comments fly: “She’s lying,” “She knew,” or “It’s impossible not to notice.” It’s as if the notion of a female body that can act autonomously, able to stay silent, challenges what we are willing to accept.

This rush to suspicion reflects a deeper discomfort. In a culture where pregnancy is prominently staged - on Instagram, in television shows, in political discourse - pregnancy denial stands apart. It is not dramatic. It surfaces in unlikely places: a high school bathroom, a doctor’s waiting room, the backseat of a car. It does not fit into any heroic narrative. It unsettles.

What Is Expected of a “Proper” Mother-to-Be

Beneath this collective discomfort lies a set of unspoken expectations. To be a good mother is to anticipate, to desire, to seek information. It means preparing for the arrival of the child and already beginning to love them. Pregnancy denial disrupts this narrative. It presents a woman who does not prepare, who feels nothing, who does not imagine herself as a mother. And this absence of projection is often misread as a lack of love, or worse, as a potential threat.

Suspicion does not stop with the woman herself. It extends to the child. Public opinion starts to wonder: will she take care of the baby? Will she even accept it? Behind these questions lingers an old fear, one tied to infanticide, to criminal denial, to the idea of a mother who is inherently unfit. The most tragic news stories have only fueled that suspicion, even though such cases are few and far between. The mere fact of not knowing becomes suspect, as if not knowing were the same as not wanting.

This unspoken judgment carries a heavy burden. Many women who discover their pregnancy late opt for abortion or place their child for adoption not due to lack of desire but because of panic, shock, and isolation. Others go on to raise their child while facing constant doubt from those around them about their ability as mothers. It is as if they must atone for a symbolic failing: not conforming to societal expectations.

Pregnancy denial exposes how intensely motherhood is scrutinized. In our societies, women’s bodies are observed, measured, and constantly judged. When they deviate from expected norms, they become subjects of questioning. And when they remain silent, as in cases of denial, they often face suspicion.

Perhaps it’s time to shift our perspective and ask: why are so many women left alone with a body that says nothing? Why do those around them, their family, doctors, coworkers, and friends, fail to notice? Maybe pregnancy denial reveals not only something about a woman’s relationship with her body but also highlights our collective struggle to acknowledge what cannot be seen.