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Seduction is everywhere in our lives—a language of desire, but also a tool of control. From childhood to social media, from politics to private life, this article explores its many facets and excesses—a dynamic that fascinates, manipulates, wields influence and undermines symbolic meaning.
Seduction is intimately tied to the development of the self. Present from the earliest stages of life, it weaves through every domain—from the personal to the social and political, from the economy to daily interactions, to the great works of art. It can be understood as a form of connection with others, one that reveals unconscious desire. In itself, seduction is neither good nor bad. It is an expression of longing, a language of desire, a bridge toward the other.
But when it becomes detached from the recognition of the other’s alterity—from the symbolic, from ethical subjectivity—it can become a manipulative tool, a way of exerting control without regard for the other.
Seduction shapes the relationship between a child and their parents from the outset. The young child unconsciously desires the opposite-sex parent and competes with the same-sex parent. But the child is also the object of parental desire—seen, invested in and fantasized about by the parents. This creates a dynamic where seduction can be mutual, but always asymmetrical. It can lay the groundwork for subjective development, but also become a point of vulnerability that, if misrepresented, can lead to harmful distortions.
This is the theory Sándor Ferenczi explored in his work The Confusion of Tongues between Adults and the Child. He describes how a child interacts with their parents using the language of tenderness and affection. However, sometimes an adult responds using the language of passion or sexuality, which can create profound trauma, severely disrupting the child’s ability to symbolize, think and desire. In this context, seduction becomes malevolent: instead of opening the child to the other, it freezes, captures and overwhelms. In severe cases, it lays the groundwork for future pathological structures. The function of the third party—particularly the Name-of-the-Father in Lacanian theory—is crucial here: it introduces the Law, separates roles and limits parental desire to protect the child.
As we can see, seduction is inherently ambivalent: it introduces the child to self-recognition through the gaze of the other, but when distorted or pathologically invested, it can lead to profound distortions that shape the individual's entire psychic life.
Seduction is closely tied to desire. It operates as a stage where, in adulthood, early scenarios are unconsciously reenacted. Drawing on Plato, Lacan introduces the concept of agalma—the imagined treasure that one believes the other possesses, the object that dazzles us. This illustrates how seduction stages the experience of lack: The Other is desired not for what they are, but for what the subject projects onto them. This process can create the illusion of a fulfilling romantic encounter, even though it remains inherently incomplete.
In this context, love becomes an attempt to bridge what is fundamentally missing. Seduction, then, turns into a coded, indirect and ambiguous language. It can manifest as a game, a dance or a ritual—yet, it can also devolve into strategy, manipulation or repetition. The person who constantly engages in seduction often fears abandonment, denies the anxiety of castration or tries unsuccessfully to compensate for narcissistic wounds. For them, seduction becomes a crutch, a way to avoid confronting absence, emptiness or reality. In this sense, we can distinguish between seduction that acknowledges the alterity of the other and defensive seduction, which seeks to capture the other as a means of avoiding self-confrontation and the inability to experience true desire.
In the political sphere, charismatic leaders exploit unconscious mechanisms of transference and identification. The people, in search of protective figures, project their emotional and ideological needs onto them. Political discourse thus transforms into a vast scene of seduction, where the speaker aims to capture the audience’s desire, not only through ideas but primarily through emotions: promises of security, the exaltation of identity and the projection of power. The crowd transfers its libido onto the leader, who becomes a stand-in for an imaginary father, the site of alienation due to a lack of symbolic mediation. This dynamic explains why certain political figures exert a near-romantic fascination, provoking irrational behaviors and making any meaningful dialogue impossible.
In the economic domain, seduction is widely used as a tool. Marketing doesn’t sell products, it sells fantasies. It creates artificial needs, promises their fulfillment and offers forms of identification that hold appeal. The consumer becomes a seduced subject, captured and manipulated. Our society has become a stage for widespread seduction, where everything—from bodies to ideas—turns into a commodified object of desire. Seduction thus serves as a powerful tool in shaping behaviors, aspirations and even identities. In Lebanon, some parents give their children the names of well-known brands, trapping them in a state of diminished subjectivity. By imposing their own fantasies, they rob them of the symbolic, setting them up for inevitable disillusionment.
As for the digital realm, it today also presents an unprecedented stage for seduction. Social media, dating apps and digital avatars increase the possibilities for both seducing and being seduced. However, this growth comes with new drawbacks. Digital identity is a construct: filters, staging, personal storytelling. The individual becomes their own product, managing their image like a brand. This logic promotes exhibitionism, comparison and a compulsive search for validation. Seduction often boils down to a quest for “likes,” colored hearts, views and external validation. Crucial questions inevitably arise: Is the subject still capable of true desire, or are they merely consuming images? What space remains for alterity, for lack, in a world saturated with visibility and control?
The situation is increasingly alarming as social networks have become arenas for predation. Children and adolescents, in particular, are exposed to seductive figures that prey on their narcissistic vulnerability. Emotional and sexual predators use the same tactics as everyday seduction, making them difficult to detect. What was once a game of seduction has now become a weapon used to ensnare others.
Our contemporary society, with its emphasis on performance and image, fosters this distortion. The constant need to please, succeed and seduce has become ingrained. Failure is intolerable, and sensitivity or fragility is seen as shameful. The self dissolves into appearance. Seduction has become a social imperative, an internalized command, almost a duty. Culturally, this is reflected in the emphasis on style in all domains: politics becomes communication, literature turns into marketing and the body becomes a screen. This pervasive seduction significantly impoverishes connections, erodes discourse and stifles the symbolic. It creates individuals who are, undoubtedly, connected—but disconnected from themselves.
Pathological seduction can manifest in various ways. The compulsive seducer often grapples with an inner emptiness, seeking to fill it through a series of conquests. Each new admiring gaze offers a temporary fix for a narcissistic wound, but the relief is fleeting. This vicious cycle can ultimately lead to psychological burnout, depression or even severe emotional breakdowns.
In Les Liaisons Dangereuses (Dangerous Liaisons), Choderlos de Laclos presents seduction in its most detached, cynical and perverse form. Valmont and Merteuil seek neither love nor recognition, but power. They manipulate, destroy and revel in their control. Yet Laclos does not spare them. He portrays them as victims of their own game. Their inability to love or be moved condemns them to loneliness, boredom and eventual downfall. When taken to extremes, seduction becomes lethal. It destroys whatever it touches, including those who wield it.
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